ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
he's single and there are thong briefs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
