Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
