She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
