cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
