i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
