There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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