everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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