Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
