Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
