I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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