**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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