So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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