So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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