Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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