I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize