We got so high we made milksteak
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The uberlube is also flammable
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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