girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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