I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
