Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
