is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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