Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
