I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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