the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
