It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
