if you like me you must not know who I am
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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