watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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