in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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