If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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