THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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