The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
