everyone is single if you try hard enough
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
