its not stalking. its research.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
