hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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