I wannas sexs uuuuu
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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