I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
it was like eating out sand paper
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
