Three words: puerto rican gang bang
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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