I want to walk on stilts...naked
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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