If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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