My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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