Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
