your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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