The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
