Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
