Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
