You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
