You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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