therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
