if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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