I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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