If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
