Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
