Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You can't motorboat a personality
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
