um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize