Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
