so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
