I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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