So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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