drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
