The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize