I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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