Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
