just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
