I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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