his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The power of my boobs compel you
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
