bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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