Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
