The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
